Take Care of Her, Too
There is so much we do as mothers that no one ever sees. We remember the appointments. We ask the questions. We fill out the forms. We celebrate the milestones that others may not understand.
We notice the smallest changes. We research. We prepare. We advocate. We encourage our children when they are afraid, stand beside them when the world feels too loud, and somehow find the words “You can do this” even on the days when we are quietly wondering whether we can do this.
And we keep going...
Especially when we are raising a child who may need additional support, it can become so natural to place ourselves at the very bottom of the list.
There is always something that feels more important. Another appointment. Another goal. Another concern. Another form to complete. Another battle worth fighting.
Another tomorrow to prepare for. And somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, a mother can begin to disappear inside the responsibility of caring for everyone she loves.
But Mama, You Matter Too
I want to say something to the mothers who may need to hear it today: You matter too.
Not only because your child needs you. Not because your family depends on you. Not because you have to stay strong.
You matter because you are you.
Your emotions are valid. Your needs are important. Your exhaustion deserves acknowledgment. Your dreams still matter. Your laughter matters. Your friendships matter. Your rest matters. Your identity matters. Your well-being is essential—not just for your child, but for you.
Sometimes motherhood, especially when advocacy becomes part of it, teaches us to become incredibly strong. But strength can be misunderstood. We begin to believe that being strong means never becoming tired. Never feeling overwhelmed. Never needing help. Never saying, “This is hard.” Never admitting that sometimes we are scared too.
But perhaps strength isn't carrying everything without breaking. Perhaps strength is also knowing when something has become too heavy to carry alone.
You Are Allowed to Feel Two Things at Once
You can be deeply grateful for your child and still have difficult days. You can love your life and still need a break from its responsibilities. You can celebrate a milestone and remember how hard you fought to get there. You can be hopeful about the future and sometimes be afraid of it.
You can be the person who encourages everyone else and still need someone to encourage you. One feeling does not cancel out the other. Motherhood is rarely one emotion at a time. There is joy beside worry. Pride beside exhaustion. Hope beside uncertainty. Strength beside vulnerability. And extraordinary love woven through all of it.
You do not have to apologize for that complexity.
Caring for the Caregiver Is Not Selfish
Sometimes we hear “Take care of yourself” and imagine something elaborate. A vacation. A spa day. A perfectly quiet morning. And those things can be wonderful. But caring for yourself can also be much smaller and much more honest.
It can mean asking for help before you reach your limit. It can mean sitting quietly with a cup of coffee without feeling that you should be doing something productive. It can mean going for a walk. Calling a friend. Returning to something you loved before motherhood consumed so much of your time. Going to dinner with your husband. Laughing without guilt. Crying when you need to. Saying no. Resting. Allowing someone else to take care of you for a change.
Caring for the caregiver doesn't mean putting yourself above your child. It means recognizing that your strength, your softness, and your joy are part of the heartbeat of your family.
And they deserve care, protection, and attention too.
Remember the Woman Inside the Mother
This may be the part closest to my heart. Before all the appointments, advocacy, schedules, therapies, school meetings, milestones, worries, celebrations, and plans for the future, there was a woman.
She had dreams. She had interests. She had friendships. She had things that made her laugh. She had parts of herself that existed long before anyone called her Mom. She is still there. Motherhood didn't erase her. It expanded her.
And perhaps part of this journey is learning how to nurture her alongside the child she loves so fiercely. Because you are not just raising a child. In many ways, you are also raising a new version of yourself. A woman who has learned things she never expected to learn. A woman who has discovered strength she didn't know she possessed. A woman who has advocated when her voice trembled. A woman who has cried behind closed doors and then walked back into the room ready to try again. A woman who has learned to celebrate differently. To hope differently. To love differently. And perhaps even to see life differently.
Take care of her.
To the Mother Who Is Tired Today
If today was beautiful, enjoy it. If today was difficult, let it be difficult. You don't have to turn every hard moment into a lesson before you have had time to feel it. You don't always have to be inspirational. You don't always have to have the answer. You don't always have to be the strongest person in the room.
Sometimes you are allowed to simply be a woman who loves her child tremendously and is doing the best she can with the day in front of her. And if no one has asked you lately— How are you doing? Not your child. Not the appointments. Not school. Not the next milestone. Not the future.
You.
I hope you ask yourself that question too. And I hope you listen carefully to the answer.
Take Care of Her
So, to every mother walking this journey:
Please remember yourself. Protect some small corner of your life where you are not required to fix, organize, advocate, teach, prepare, or worry. Make room for the things that remind you who you are. Let people love you. Let people help you. Rest without having to earn it. Celebrate yourself sometimes too. And when you look in the mirror, try not to see only the mother responsible for holding everything together. See the woman.
The one who keeps showing up. The one who loves fiercely. The one who carries tenderness and courage in the same heart. The one who may sometimes be exhausted, uncertain, emotional, or afraid—and continues loving anyway.
She matters.
Not only because of everything she does for everyone else. She matters simply because she exists. You spend so much of your life nurturing the people you love. Don't forget that you are one of them. Take care of her, too. And to the mother reading this who has spent so much time making sure her child knows, “You are not alone”— perhaps today, those words are meant for you.
You are not alone either.
Add comment
Comments